questions

i have lots of questions rite now, such as; have i changed? to good or bad? why i dun have talents? and what actually i want from life? and WHAT I'M GONNA TELL IN THIS POST? well... it's been awhile since i told bout my 'crushes' story. so, let me conclude what really happens at me, at penang.

first, i tried to be bepu with some people. i tried. lots of them... but i dun have a chemistry with them (btw, NEARLY fail chemis. by 6 marks -__-)
they are either:
too nice for me
or
attracts trouble

the problem with nice people is.... ME. well, i can be nice, but for awhile. being with nice people, i must do nice things, control my mouth... I CANT! soo... i shifted to another person.

that attracts trouble. AT-8-TION: they are not trouble-makers. the troubles jusst.. came to them. so, at first, i'll pujuk them, lend my shoulders.... then, it'll be fine. all the problem vanished. UNTIL, troubles come again! ta~daa~~ and i started to prevent myself from them.

I'M AN EVIL PERSON. I THINK SIMPLE. if troubles come, i think, what the hell, just faced them. if someone hate me, i dun care. every human has rights to hate someone/thing. and i dun have ANY experience of love. why u ask me?!

so, why i can't find a single person at there who is not popular, drama-queen, trouble-attracter? i'm not SO picky.
whatever. start next year. i'm gonna build a huge wall around me so no one can know me. just my old friend and few people. so what if they're not interested to be friend with me? their LOST. just because i'm NOT PRETTY, doesn't mean that i have NOTHING.

and all my life at penang, not even a single day i didn't think of them. every time i did sumthing fun, i'll said in my mind if they are here, this is gonna be funnier. or if i met someone hawt, i'm sure we will scream, or debate bcoz we all have our own opinion... i missed old times. but i tried not too think of it much bcoz i know that i did enjoy it.

crushes? well.... the problem is... i dun even know if this my usual crushes or i do really like this person. my max. crush is 2 weeks. yes, new record. i WAS like Mr. F. well, i was an idiot at that time(still an idiot, but much better now). just look at him!! blurr and idiot.

i read someone's status (can't remember whose) said that real crush is 4 months... well... this one is over 4 months already. ok, HINT: my old friend. that's it. even my best friends dun know this. well, i'm kinda soft A BIT now, but i'm still hardcore, ok? started to miss him months ago.. then, i thought, i might having fever or sumthing. coz i dont fall in luv with frens, ok.. and this is not luv. this is call CRUSH. i'm sure this is my usual crush, and i'll forget bout it in a few days.

i wait days, weeks, months... and this feeling is not FADING. OMG!!! is this real? well.. i'll just wait for a year then. then i'll make a new record. my max crush : A YEAR. but i have an imagination.. IF 10 years from now i'll meet him, and IF that feeling is still there. I'll confess. but that is 0.000000000000000000000000000001% success.

well, thats it for now. i have more. but i'm sleepy, and u'll get bored reading this. and i know that no 1 gonna read this, thats why i post bout my crush here.